Eden: You know what would be weird? If all our clothes were made out of rubber bands.
What are we made out of?
Me: Well, mostly water.
Eden: Water?! I thought it was plastic!
Gary: Mom, canned food is dangerous. (I was about to leave for the cannery.) It has a gun, and it has a hand. It could reach out and get the gun and shoot you. You better not go over there.
Eden: You know what would be so weird? If our house was made out of pickles.
Samuel: Mom, what if we went to Disneyland without any pants?
Gary: I'm afraid of that lizard!
Me: Why? What do you think it will do to you?
Gary: Smack me with his tail!
Me: ?! Why do you think he would do that?
Gary: Because he smacked me with his tail yesterday.
Eden: (As she was eating a root beer popsicle)Mmm! This does taste like an over-float!
Gary: Can I go to Grandma's?
Me: No. It's too far away for you to walk.
Gary: I could run.
Lily: Mom, am I allowed to go to the reception? The dead reception? (funeral)
Chad: (to me, in all seriousness)Have you ever felt the bumber of a semi?
Gary: I'm pretending I'm dead.