Wednesday, October 21, 2009

"The Dangerous Book for Boys" -- Who needs a book?

In the past two months, Gary has:

poured petroleum distillate lubricant all over himself and Sage(poison),

taken a hack saw to Samuel’s big inflatable ride-in ball,

sprinkled ant killer all over the sidewalk, himself and Sage(poison),

carved two holes in the kitchen wall with a screwdriver,

hammered blue pock marks over a large section of our recently refinished kitchen table with an ink pen,

tagged the lawnmower, Phillip, the garden shed, and the patio with pink paint(as you know),

was caught mid-swing on the roof of Chad's pick-up with hammer,

poured gasoline all over the garden shed,

poured gasoline all over the shop,

built a 10" fire ring out of gravel, filled it with sticks and talked Grandpa out of a lighter(Grandpa thought it didn't work. But it did.),

Sprayed down my bathroom with hairspray,

sprayed 40% deet Off (poison) all over the inside of the cab of Uncle Paul's pick-up, which bubbled the leather and stained the instrument pannel,

and yesterday, he threw this 1/8th of an inch thick, flat, yet sharp-edged end of a trampoline spring...

...through this. Samuel's hand.

Ow. This, at least, was an accident.

It seems every day we're looking at our home with new eyes, as "baby-proof" is not "Gary-proof." In his hands, everyday items become instruments of destruction, and things that are already instruments of destruction, are never out of reach of a 3-year-old on a mission. Constant supervision is the only thing that helps, but he made his chocolate mess today in under five minutes. After these incidents, Gary often says, "I'm sorry. I won't do it again." And he doesn't. He thinks of something new. I guess I need to learn to think like a 3-year-old and think of them first!


  1. That is quite funny. Well Im sure it wasn't fun to clean all those messes up, but little boys crack me up! I think I am in for it too with these little rascals of ours! :)

  2. He sounds like a true coffman boy or atleast like my boys; I do feel for you.

  3. Gary sounds like he has the brain power of a scientist in the making... I hope you survive all of his experiments.


  4. Oh my goodness! That is just hilarious, at least to me, probably not so much to you. He sounds like one intelligent little boy and if he (and the rest of you) can make it through the next 15 years in one piece, he will no doubt do amazing things.

  5. okay i guess i should be grateful for a slew of girls!! You are amazing i hope you are feeling okay!!

  6. I'm speechless. I can't breathe due to laughter, amazement and fear! :)
    And he's way too cute to ever be mad at! I love his radiantly happy face.